Detoxes are obviously ultra chic at the moment, since Cleo’s also pitching one on their cover - but thank God, it’s a celebrity detox, because who wants to read about boring ordinary people?
Page 150, Cleo body makeover - “The celeb detox Gwyeth, Kate and Kylie swear by”
The lesser headline on this article is “want clearer skin, more energy, plus a leaner, sexier bod? Coming right up!” In my mind, that makes it sound super easy … but after reading just about every celebrity detox in existence, what I’ve discovered is the more celebrities love something, usually the harder it is for mere mortals to complete it.
This is Dr Nish Joshi’s detox, and if it’s so easy, I’d like to know why it has a giant book devoted to it - one I’ve flicked through more than ten times, thinking “I should buy this, and do this detox”, yet always putting it back on the shelf because I knew there was no way I could give up:
wheat, gluten, yeast, fruit (except bananas, which I despise with passion), no red meat, no dairy (I could actually do that), no chocolate or sugar (what!), no coffee (even decaffeinated, and that’s just insane), or tea. Sorry, if I have to do all that to look good, it’s just not worth it.
It also promises you’re going to feel like crap for the first 48 hours, and may experience headaches, stomach pains, nausea, fatigue, even mild palpitations, but apparently, the worse you feel, the more your body was in need of a detox. Ironically, one of my friends used to say the same thing about heroin.
I think it’s necessary to really think about how sane it is to go through a hard core cleansing plan, when 99.9% of people will just go back to their old ways. I’m probably (definitely) cynical, but unless you are a celeb, who has someone to shop and cook for them, and make sure they’re not cheating on their detox, this is an almost unsustainable regime. If you’ve done a detox and managed to maintain the lifestyle, please leave me a comment, because I’d love to hear about your experience.
Sadly, Dr Joshi doesn’t ignite my passion the way a celeb workout does. And maybe I’d be better off if he did. Now excuse me, I’m going to have a cup of coffee and chargrill a giant steak … My rating - for usefulness * - for degree of difficulty *****
Page 78 - Have you got a food hangover?
Dietician Susie Burrell lists four types of food binges and how to avoid the terrible feeling of overdoing certain types of food. They range from potato chips to ice cream and chocolate. Great advice. ***
Page 82 - What’s in your drink?
Half page article listing five popular drinks, listing their kJ’s and sugar content, and giving a healthier/lower calorie option. Some of the kJ listings are quite terrifying, and if you’re having a grande Starbucks frappuccino every day and can’t lose weight, you might suddenly discover why. Since this is listed as one of the better options, just choosing a latte might be a little bit smarter … and not that hard to work out. Disturbing, but fairly obvious ***
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